Friday, February 5, 2016

Mardi Gras 2016: Mr. Joaquim Barreiros

Oh Mardi Gras,
oh Mardi Gras!
You see a lot of boobies.

-- Homer Simpson

Sunday, January 3, 2016

"Dude, I'm sorry, bud, but Arnie's got to take care of business."

What about tacos?


Which place should we go to?

Literally any taco place.

Come on. There's so many taco places.

We got to make sure we go to the best one.

I'll do some research.

Great. I'll sit here and do nothing.

Tacos Morelos?

Sounds good to me.


Oh, yeah.

Whoo-whee, tacos!

Yeah, baby.

Oh, my God, so many delicious options.

Hey, man.


What do you think the move here is,

Um, my favorite's the barbacoa.

Okay, well,
our personal tastes may be different.

What would you say
is the most popular one?

Probably the chicken or the carnitas.

I don't know.

Well, between those,

which do people seem to like more?

Like, when you watch their faces,

who seems happier,

the carnitas people or the chicken people?

I'm not watching people's faces
while they eat their food.

I'm usually working with another customer

or listening to a wrestling podcast
and staring at the street.

Got it.

You know what?
Put me down for two carnitas.

Oh, man, I'm sorry, we're out of tacos.

- No!
- Yeah.

We ran out of tortillas
a half hour ago.

Well, why did we have
the whole conversation, then?

Because you kept asking questions,
and I just kept giving you answers.

I'm over here trying to listen
to my CM Punk interview, dude.

This is supposed to be the best taco.

What am I supposed to do now?

Go eat the second best taco,
like some kind of asshole?

All right. Great.


How did they run out of tacos?

It's three o'clock.

You took 45 minutes
trying to find the best taco spot.

All right, well, um...

you want to help me do some more research
and we'll find a place that's still open?

Yeah, I guess.

Hold on. Incoming.

Ooh, Cassidy.

"Hey, Arnold, come to my place.
Let's have an afternoon bone sesh."

Dude, she might be talking about sex.


You're gonna go have sex with this girl
instead of helping me research tacos?

Dude, I'm sorry, bud,
but Arnie's got to take care of business.

I'll talk to you later.

All right.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Master of None quotes

«A powerful redbone named Carla had a Denise experience last night.»


«Stop what you're doing! This is a citizen's arrest!»